hello everyone

IT'S FINALLY OVER.

Things are getting complicated around me so I'm currently ironing out the creases.
I have not been myself these last few months.
But I am really hoping I could get around soon.
I miss being Grace again. :)

Please do include me in your prayers also.
I have not been well specially this week.
I'm just trying to be strong and continue being rational on things.
Containing negative emotions and digesting them all in until all the bitterness subsides.

I have put myself into this situation and I will certainly pull myself out. (easier said than done huh?)
I will try my best to do everything I could to face all these consequences.
I somewhat anticipated about the hurtings but we all know that no matter how we prepare ourselves, pain will always catch us off guard.

Well, I must be responsible enough to face all these.
Get on with the changes. Cry as much as I want, just to help my body ease the pain.

Oh my.. What have I done to myself? *sigh*

I really do hope things will get better.
If I am hurting now (excruciatingly hurting), I deserve it all..

Sorry for those I have hurt. I do not intend to get yourselves be affected with this.
It was so dumb of me to think that I could only hurt myself in the process.
But it seems that those people I loved the most are most hurt with this.
I am really sorry..
I cannot undo the damage, but i can repair it, I guess.

I need Jehovah God, to help me to get thru this.
I somewhat left Him while I centered myself on some selfish bout.
But still I know deep inside that I cannot go on with this life if He'll be totally out of it.
I can't live without Jehovah God on my side.
I am really sorry for the hurts and pain.
I know I cannot offer anything to match His undeserved kindness and deep love for me.
But I know He still values every little good thing I do to continue fighting.

*sigh*

I should have not let my guards down.
I should have been wiser and stronger.
Now, it's all getting on to me.

Just to give you an idea, it seems that my body cannot contain the pain I am currently experiencing.
I feel so stupid about myself.

But I am not brooding on these negative thoughts.
I was just trying to let them all out.
I am still hopeful that things will get better for me.
Consequences of wrong decisions will soon find their way to me.
And I will face them all.

I do not know how long will all these last.
I hope I could bear the torturing pain.

Again, I am sorry for all the troubles.
At least, I could still smile. :)

It won't fade. (I hope)

;o)