2008 & Grace

2008 is a milestone in my life.
i have learned a lot of things this year about myself.
gained "new" experiences: some are nice, most are "unwelcome" :s

a few realizations about myself:

1. Grace is a rational person
2. Most of the time she's fair and just on her dealings with people
   
3. She always has her reasons in doing things
4. She might not always do things right, but she is responsible enough to face the consequences of her actions (not blaming anyone for it)
   
5. She could amazingly sacrifice her own happiness for the happiness of other people

Those are just a few but my favorites are the 1st, 4th and 5th.
Those are, I think, the most important aspects of my personality.
Important because they are not at all easy to do.

It's hard to wish for somebody's happiness if you are hurting because of that person.
And yet, I was able to do that. I am cringing in pain, tears rolling down my cheeks and yet I can sincerely wish and pray that they could be happy. To be honest, I kind of admire that part of my personality. It's not easy, y'know to wish other people to be happy while you are dying in pain because of them.. Still, I did it. :') -- for the second time around..

Also, giving up on your happiness to avoid hurting other people is one great challenge. But I did it. Again, for the second time in this lifetime, I chose to be hurt and see others happy than me being happy and see others in pain.. Well, what could you say about that? :)

Another thing, I can effectively rationalize on things.
Though my heart seems to be stronger sometimes, still my mind can overpower her if I wanted to.
My brain could control and suppress my heart's wild part and avoid getting further damages. I actually have discovered the power of my brain to control myself: every action, thought and emotion. It is just a matter of discipline and self-control.

Also, I always hold myself responsible for what's happening in my life.
I don't blame anyone if I hurt in the process.
Because I know I always have an option. I know I always have a choice.
If I'm hurting, that's because I made wrong decisions, right? :)
So it's for me to face the consequences and bear the pain until I heal..

So yun. Those were just my realizations about myself.
If I can overcome all these, I know I could be a much, much stronger person. :)
Much stronger than before.

I hope I could heal soon..
I really hope and PRAY I could recuperate from this soon..